Thoughts From This Southpaw

Ok, ok. I admit I was overtaken by a moment of silliness with the pickle post. I did, however, enjoy all your comments. You just feel closer to someone when you know where they stand on important issues like these. Thank you, thank you for letting me get to know you on a deeper level. But now, in all seriousness, I must let you know of a recent act of discrimination against me and my people. Kitchen gadgets are now discriminating against the lefties! I'm trying to replace all my old spatulas, big spoons, and spaghetti scoopers to go with my nice new kitchen. I've had the hardest time finding a new spaghetti scooper. Are people not cooking spaghetti at home anymore? Or are they in such demand that the stores can't keep them stocked? Today I was in a kitchen store, which did not have a traditional spaghetti scooper, but a new kind that looks more like a comb. (I'm sorry I don't have a picture. I did a search but nothing came up.) I thought it was pretty neat so I was going to purchase it, but then I realized that it would probably be difficult for me to use being left-handed. I asked the lady who worked there, and she said that I would have a hard time using the gadget properly. She sympathized with me, saying that she had a left-handed brother, so she's always looking for left-handed kitchen gadgets, and to ask next time I was in the store. How are people like me, and Jay Leno, and Carol Burnett, and George H.W. Bush, and Larry Bird, and Julia Roberts, and Sarah Jessica Parker, and Monica Seles (who's going to be on my favorite show DWTS!!!) supposed to dip spaghetti? Well, all those people probably have right-handed personal chefs, but it's a matter of principle. It's bad enough that we get ink all over our hands when we write and that in school we had to search for that one left-handed desk in a classroom full of right-handed desks. If you come across a lefty today, give him or her a big hug and say, "You're special." Apologize for the struggles that he or she faces on a daily basis. If you are left-handed, be proud! Here's a little joke for you.

Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother. She decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked, "Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"

Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him,
"What makes you say God did this with his left hand?".

"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"