Reminiscing

This post is all about me looking back on a phase of my life that is now over. It probably won't be interesting to everyone, so don't feel like you have to read it all!

Tuesday night I nursed Allie for the last time. Even though I was ready for that phase to be over, I seemed greatly aware of the fact that that phase is completely over. When Coleman was a baby I had so much trouble nursing him. One thing after another seemed to go wrong and it was nothing like I imagined it to be. "Oh, it will come so naturally and I'll know what to do and he'll know what to do. We'll just look into each other's eyes and it will be so joyous." Yeah, it was anything but. It finally started to get OK and then my milk started drying up. I don't think I've ever been more frustrated in my life.

When I was expecting Spence, I was dreading nursing. I knew that's what I wanted to do, and I knew that if I could successfully get through those first few weeks it would be OK. And if it wasn't OK, well then that was OK too. The first few weeks were rough, but once they were behind me it turned out to be a great experience. And good thing too, because that child would not take a bottle! And he was Mr. Cling! I'll never forget 2 month old Spence wailing as Brian (who had just had knee surgery and couldn't climb the stairs) held him and I put Coleman to bed. Every night. For 6 weeks. Loud, screaming wails. Poor Brian finally realized there was nothing he could do to calm Spencey, so he just turned on the closed captioning and watched TV! Anyway, I finally got Spence weaned between 13 and 14 months because I was going to spend 5 days with my friend Theresa after her 2nd baby was born.

Before Allie was born, I started worrying again about nursing. If you've done it, you know it can be pretty painful in the beginning. It was painful for a while, but after those first few weeks we were old pros. And now, 15 months later, it was time to wean her too. After all, I'm meeting my friend Theresa in San Antonio in a few weeks! It will be my first night away from Allie! You know what, now that I think about it, I think I nursed Coleman for the last time at Theresa's house in New Mexico! OK Theresa, this is weird! I guess I'm writing all this to say that I'm glad that nursing Coleman wasn't a walk in the park. I'm glad it was hard and that even though I gave it my all, it just didn't quite work out. It made the next two rounds so much more special. And it made me appreciate it so much more. I'm so thankful that it worked out.

So obviously, I am for breastfeeding. But I have no problem with those who don't. I know some women can't for one reason or another. It can be completely stressful and overwhelming. Even the third time around! And I told myself that if it ever became overly stressful, I would give it up. I have been blessed to be able to stay home with each of my kids, so therefore I didn't have to pump much. I seriously don't think I could have lasted long pumping. That thing, though very helpful, is evil! I don't know of any new moms who read my blog and might have questions about breastfeeding, but if you're out there, I'd love to hear from you.